Today was refreshing. I haven’t previously examined the expectations I had going into this project and I guess now is the time.
I like to think I had none, but that isn’t true. I know I’ve felt many different emotions in the lead up to the two recordings so far, in the lead up to even suggesting the project.
I’ve felt intimidated, fearful, unsure of myself and my ability to participate and contribute. My fear (worst case scenario expectation) was that my efforts would be unwanted, viewed as of little value. And the greatest fear was I would give up, withdraw and not pursue something that I believe has value.
In talking with Chrissy Hammond today, I became conscious of exactly what fear was driving the anxiety I’ve been feeling. Another fear I have, ironically considering the intention of the podcast, is revealing myself and being judged. How human of me! It’s so disappointing sometimes when I remember I’m a human.
I admire Chrissy’s unique perspective, her originality and her ability to be unapologetically herself. I think that’s what they call ‘authenticity’ and it’s stunning.
I’ve attached a photo of her ‘goals’ as they’re a well thought out bunch! So much food for thought today. And I’m thoroughly looking forward to continuing this journey of a project.
I doubt any one podcast episode or ‘conversation’ will resemble another. I might be biased, I might be wrong, but I foresee collating a collection of unique and inspiring stories with this series.
And Jada Bennett, my metaphorical guinea pig, I thank you for your boldness and willingness to have gone first. But as you well predicted, I believe I will be circling back to you lol
Getting to do photos was an added bonus and what a fun way to find out I need to learn how to be a photographable subject! Too often the inner ‘crazy’ becomes visible on the outside…
If you’d like to support the making of this podcast, you can donate at the following gofundme page:
shinemealight 